This conversation was overheard between a junior Minister named Greg, and his Prime Minister.
“Prime Minister, do you have a moment please, I have come up with the most amazing wheeze to pull on the Plebs?”
“O.K. Greg, yes I have a couple of minutes, fire away”
“Well as we approach the General Election I think you should make the Plebs a whole bunch of promises that you say you will fulfill if you get voted into power. Things that the Plebs will understand and like. Things like you will build 250,000 new cheap and affordable houses in the next year, and that you will go through every school in the country and root out radicalism – things like that”
“I’m not quite sure that’s a very good idea Greg, what happens if we get voted back in again and I have to fulfill the promises?”
“Ah – that’s the really cool bit of my plan Prime Minister – you won’t have to. During your 5 years in power you do the usual stalling and wish-washing as to why the promises haven’t been fulfilled yet. I suggest you mention how the Economy really plummeted badly and that twice we were near Bankruptcy, but by your strict financial endorsements we pulled through and that we are now once more in a very strong financial position, and everyone is safe and secure. I would also play the terrorism/homeland security card. Tell the Plebs that during these 5 years of very tough Government there were at least a dozen very serious threats to our country that were swiftly cut short by our Security Forces. Things like, dirty bomb attacks, shipments of anthrax intercepted, and a mass poisoning of reservoirs prevented – the Plebs will be quaking in their boots. But also, seeing that they still have their beer and skittles, and that they haven’t been blown up – they will see what a superb job you have done these last 5 years in keeping them all safe and sound”.
“I am beginning to really like your plan Greg, but suppose now we are in the run up to the next General Election, what stunt can I pull to get the Plebs to give me an overwhelming vote again?”
“Ahh – Prime Minister – I’m really glad you asked that question, because that really is my piece de resistance”.
“Go on Greg, I am all ears”.
“You offer the same dozen promises again as you did last time!”.
“Oh come on Greg, even the Plebs aren’t quite that stupid”
“You stand on the stage, with a completely straight face, and you make the same promises again. You say, hand on heart, that you couldn’t fulfill the promises in the last term due to the extreme financial and security crises the country faced. But through your hard work and diligence we are now in a position of safety and security, and you can now state, without a shadow of a doubt that all those promises, and more, can easily be carried out”.
“I’m not sure Greg that still sounds a bit risky”.
“Prime Minister, if you say these things with conviction and a straight face, the Plebs, who are on the whole a decent bunch of people, will be thinking to themselves, he can’t be such an impossible c**t that he’s just standing there lying through his teeth can he?”
“I say Greg – steady on there!!”
“Sorry Prime Minister, but it’s true – their little Pleb brains won’t be able to compute what is going on and they will fall for exactly the same trick again. And the really good bit is you don’t even have to think up new things to promise”.
“That Greg is the most brilliant piece of strategy I have heard in a long time! Alright I’ll do it!! If we actually get away with this and get voted in again, what would you want as a reward?”
“Could I please be promoted to Minister of fun Prime Minister?”
“Done deal Greg, nice talking business with you”.
And the Prime Minister walks off to his meeting, while Greg skips down the road, Ghetto blaster on full volume held up to his ear playing the Boomtown Rats “Rat Trap”. “It’s a Rat Trap Judy – and we’ve been CONNED”.
Wake up Plebs! Wake up Plebs – and take the red pill!